How to Move Forward in a New Season
Gratitude and motivation from an artist's AND mother's perspective
One bit of wisdom I will never get used to is this:
Just when you think you’ve figured out a season, it changes!
There is a season for everything. There are big seasons in life like childhood, surviving the teenage years, getting your first job, living on your own, adulthood, maybe getting married, or having children. Then there are short lived phases like summer break, pumpkin spice season, or a temporary work project. Phases and eras are constantly rippling through our lives like waves crashing on the beach and moving the sand out of place. Sometimes they overlap and they always require some form of mental adjustment.
Last year, for the first time, my youngest was in school ALL DAY. In my line of creative work, I am able to work remotely and be home with the kids. For about 10 years, I always had a little one with me the whole time. So, it was a HUGE transition for me when my son started Kindergarten! I deeply miss his cute little voice during the day, seeing the world through his curious eyes, and eating lunch together. Yet in all honesty, when my youngest finally went to school all day, I also felt a massive sense of relief! When “home” and “work” is the same place, things can get intertwined and messy. I had been waiting patiently for the day I would have more uninterrupted time to focus and get work done. I would FINALLY have ALL DAY to finish projects with little to no distractions. And you know what...the quiet ended up being a huge distraction!
A child giggling, squealing, singing, or bickering with me had been the backdrop to my day. After 10 years, I remember feeling like the house suddenly felt eerily quiet. And what I didn’t realize is I had grown a custom to jumping from one thing to the next. Jamming work tasks into the small cracks of life was totally normal. I could squeeze a full work day into the short preschool hours and respond to all my emails during nap time. My personal favorite was working after our bedtime routine when all the house was quiet and day duties were temporarily paused. It was in the peace and quiet when I would steal a piece of the night for drawing. It seemed as though I could only let my creative mind out to play in these midnight hours. I trained my imagination and muses to patiently wait for it’s moonlit dance with me.
I grew accustom to this productivity balancing act. Most days I managed well enough and I also had occasional help from babysitters, but of course there were days that were the perfect storm. Days when multiple deadlines were looming, kids at my feet, and the sinking feeling I was doing it all wrong.
Then BOOM! I entered a BRAND NEW season!
Suddenly, my creative mind was no longer required to be nocturnal. There was more daytime hours for activities. It felt luxurious and daunting. All this time I had been forfeiting structure and sleep. Where does one start fixing a wonky schedule? It's like organizing a junk drawer. It felt impossible. Honestly, it felt too quiet and I felt worried that I’d be incapable of creating REAL structure for myself without it being wrapped around nap time, snack time, or preschool.
How would I move forward in this new season?
5 bits of foraged advice for any change of season
1. Start with gratitude.
As you turn a chapter, you must first toast to the season that was to embrace the season that is quickly approaching. Then you can move forward again with your best intentions and positive vibes.
Spend time reflecting, accepting, and finding gratitude in the lessons learned. Even if lessons were learned the hard way.
I allowed my emotions to swell as I came to terms with the fact that a huge season of my life had just ended. The earth was shifting. A new era beginning. My kids were no longer babies or toddlers. No one can prepare you for the huge emotions you feel when missing the smaller versions of your children. A season gone that you wish you had back even when there are still so many more seasons to look forward to. I felt sadness and also a little mom guilt for feeling joy too. I talked it out with friends and family. I let the waves of mixed emotion crash over me knowing nothing lasts forever. It was a wild adventure and a new chapter awaits.
Even small seasons like summer ending could benefit from this moment of reflection and thankfulness. It’s a way of being present in life and honoring the moment.
Books that helped me:
1. The Artist Way by Julia Cameron
2. The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
2. Write your own chapter titles.
We are like characters in a book. As we are reacting to the world around us, we are writing and processing our life story in real time. There’s been many versions of yourself adapting to different chapters of your life. Sometimes we get stuck in the roles we play and the routines we’ve built. Or worse, we let others label us and dictate our life. “What would they say if I did that?” Certain seasons last longer than they should. It’s easy to focus on the things we can’t change and feel imprisoned by it, but there are always ways to write your own story.
Not long ago, my role was “stay-at-home-mom” – running around with my hair half done and little hands in my hand. Or perhaps my son labeled me better. As I drove him to preschool one day, he innocently gave me the title “The People Driver”. Yep, that’s me! The (little) people driver…. but I knew the truth. It may not have looked like it to anyone else from the outside, but I was very busy being the hero of my story.
CHAPTER TITLE: How I Became a Children’s Book Illustrator – by working part-time from home as a graphic designer, pursuing my illustration dreams by taking classes, making new art friends while also showing up for my children and husband. I Inevitably felt like I didn’t have enough time and wondered if it was all worth it. It became poetic and romantic to steal the night for myself. Sleep be damned. I had succumbed to the broken schedule, BUT I knew this season wouldn’t last forever. So, I held my babies tight, welcomed illustration work, and kept pushing forward.
Change inevitable came. When my work hours opened up, so did my goals. More illustration projects were finding me. I needed another chapter break and a deep breath. More importantly, I needed to let go of this “frantic” story line. A new era was beginning and my random, tired approach to work was no longer sensible. I needed a NEW CHAPTER TITLE: Life as a SUCCESSFUL Illustrator.
There is one quote that always pops up in my mind when I feel stuck:
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
So, it was time to fully embrace a NEW chapter.
Books that helped me process my creative life:
1. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
2. War of Art by Steven Pressfield
3. Atomic Habits by James Clear
3. The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
3. Seek the voices that propel you forward.
Find people you can relate to! If you haven’t already, start sharing the thing you do with others. If you want to be a writer – seek writers. If you are a mom with a small business – find other mom’s with a small business. Find people you can relate to and that are at all stages of the game. Find peers and find mentors. Reach out. Say something nice. Ask for advice. Or just befriend them. See what sticks. Maybe you just get one encouraging response or maybe you start a conversation that lasts indefinitely. Maybe you make a really good friend that understands you and helps you feel like you’re not a weirdo. Share your progress.
Find podcasts that inspire you, read books that motivate you, seek kindred spirits that cheer you on, and mute the negative voices in your life that break you down. That doesn’t mean “kindred spirits” tell you what you want to hear all the time. Good friends give you honest feedback and constructive critiques. Seek the voices that quite literally propel you towards your goals. Without my illustration friends, I’d be lost!
This post is a part of a monthly post by the Illoguild. This month we are discussing the topic of “Gratitude”. Join us for a FREE LIVE ZOOM on Monday, November 18 at 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM MST where we will be discussing this very topic.
Creative voices that helped me:
1. FridayDoodleClub hosts
2. members of Illoguild
3. Make Art That Sells community
4. and so many other illustrators I call friends :)
4. Bring your tender self on the journey.
There is something about the human experience that makes me WANT to hide myself away. Perhaps I’m aggressively protecting my inner child, running from mistakes I’ve made, or hiding from the fear that takes many forms in my life. Either way, it’s instinctive to hide my true self. Even now, there’s a piece of me saying, “why are you writing all of this? It’s too long. No one will read or listen to any of this… or even relate to it.” Deep down, I know I’m not alone in this mental battle! It’s part of the human experience forever and for always!
Maybe I’m not for everyone, but I know my words are for someone.
I believe strongly that something really special happens when we open up to each other, share our vulnerabilities, and let our tender hearts out to play. We are liberated and we encourage others to do the same.
As I watch the ever changing world around me, I am drawn to people who are putting their hearts on the line. It’s that authenticity and honesty that speaks to me… and ALL of us. I’m sure you’ve experienced a song, poem, painting, movie, or written word that has stopped you in your tracks and moved you to tears. Humanity is not looking for cookie cutter experiences and auto generated lives. There seems to be a formula for everything now, an elusive magic elixir to fix our lives. Even hope itself has been bottled and sold. We are promised a better life and a better body at EVERY corner. In reality, we are simply seeking REAL connections, authentic relationships, emotion, and experiences that feel organic (even if a little wonky, broken, misspelled, or crooked). It’s still there. It hasn’t been destroyed yet, BUT…
…we must bring our open hearts and tender selves to the table to receive it.
Helpful resources:
1. Windowsill Chats - EVERY Episode is wonderful, but I really enjoyed Ep. 155 and it also mentions the concept above.
5. Be patient.
Transitioning to something new can be hard. Emotions can run high. When my husband was in the military, moving some place new always felt scary and overwhelming. If your new season requires physically moving to a new location, welcoming a new baby to your home, or other serious changes give it time. I’ve learned that finding peace or success is very personal. It will take lots of tweaking and tinkering that is specific to you AND that’s okay! Be patient.
Squeezing work into the corners of my life was unsustainable and unpredictable. Now, I have the room to work in the daylight again, with the opportunity to be more intentional with my time, and the ability to organize my tasks. Yet, it has taken time to adjust. In the start of this new season, there were days that felt unproductive. Even though in reality they were actually VERY productive. I was mentally adjusting and letting things go. I was also daydreaming about the future. I was ready to take on bigger projects, tackle new goals, and throw in some self care.
Sometimes reality doesn’t fit the dream, but the dream somehow influences reality. So, it takes constant assessing and re-imagining.
I envisioned a new ideal work day for myself. There has been trial and error. There are nights that I still find myself staying up at midnight to draw again. I thought it was because I had to run back to my old habits to find something familiar and comfortable. Actually, I’ve learned that my creative juices just like to flow at night. Now I keep a notebook next to my bed to jot down ideas. I respectfully listen to the creative gods without forfeiting too much sleep. Slowly, but surely, I’ve grown into this new season.
Of course, until it changes again!
Be kind to yourself while finding what works for you.
Helpful resources for scheduling and time management:
1. Your Best Year Final Draft: Productivity Workbook and Business Planner by Lisa Jacobs
2. Time Management Techniques for Creators and Creatives course by Mònica Rodríguez Limia
